tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31939770.post1071390447999233584..comments2023-10-29T06:13:19.483-04:00Comments on Picaresque: Hurry, put a ring on it!Dianahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09634766750596400436noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31939770.post-72836092094142824032012-05-20T14:19:05.035-04:002012-05-20T14:19:05.035-04:00I confess, one of the many reasons we are still un...I confess, one of the many reasons we are still unmarried with no plans to become married is that it annoys my mother and stepfather. Not exactly mature, but hey. :B<br /><br />I don't see anything morally superior about monogamy, but I know that the church does...no one likes to be judged, and no one likes to be thought sinful, especially by their loved ones.Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09634766750596400436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31939770.post-59327340413723226772012-05-20T12:23:35.429-04:002012-05-20T12:23:35.429-04:00Great post --- and I hope you can resolve your iss...Great post --- and I hope you can resolve your issues with your mother. When I left, I found myself under a lot of pressure to "prove" that leaving doesn't turn you into some wild, crazy person. Even out of the Church, you do end up with a whole lot of baggage that means your life isn't exactly your own. <br /><br />I'm married, I'm happy I'm married, but I find myself really irritated by the fact that getting married was the one action I did that "proved" to my parents I was OK after all. Almost made me want to just live in sin forever.postmormongirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13455759739126093761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31939770.post-66839463446680124042012-05-20T10:33:49.892-04:002012-05-20T10:33:49.892-04:00I think a lot of the baggage definitely remains in...I think a lot of the baggage definitely remains in the subconscious. The guy I'm with, I've been with for five years--even after leaving the church, I didn't go the "wild sex walkabout" route that my mother seemed to assume I would. It didn't really occur to me that I COULD play the field. I don't regret not doing so, though it burns my biscuit a little that my mom equates my long-term, very serious relationship with freewheeling non-monogamy, simply because we're not married.<br /><br />And believe me, we have no plans at all to become married.<br /><br />Ultimately for me, the restrictive nature of marriage in the LDS church is really problematic. The church is sheerly disrespectful of people whose personal lives don't jibe...even if those people are outside the church.Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09634766750596400436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31939770.post-9368879324231582122012-05-20T06:12:02.265-04:002012-05-20T06:12:02.265-04:00When I was in my early 20's, I had already lef...When I was in my early 20's, I had already left the church, but I still had a remnant of this idea in my head that girls show how valuable they are by landing a husband. On some level, I wanted to make it clear that being a "sinner" doesn't make me inferior, and as a result, I ended up marrying the first serious boyfriend I had after graduating from BYU. He was a good boyfriend, but I never should have married him, and I'm sure I wouldn't have if I hadn't retained this Mormon mindset that being unmarried in your 20's means there's something wrong with you.<br /><br />Reading your post just made me want to give you one piece of advice: Don't let your mom or your other friends and family or even your own past training tell you that you need to get married, otherwise you're inferior. Don't let social pressure rush you into it. If/when you choose to get married, do it because you really want to spend your life with the person you've chosen.C. L. Hansonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12698855413639518095noreply@blogger.com