SHOWDOWN

The second half of the first season of Glee has convinced me that FOX hates the world at large.

Yes, I know: the first episode of the second half of the first season of Glee (Jesus H. what a mouthful) has not yet premiered. It could be awesome, Diana! you cry. Oh yes--I have no fear of the new episodes' pending awesomosity. At this point, I have swallowed so much of the Glee Kool-Aid that they could have William Hung guest-star, belt out some Celine Dion tunes, and go home with Sue, and I would think it was great.

(Note: this does not mean I don't also enjoy analyzing Glee. There are several problematic aspects of the show, which I may discuss here at some point, but other bloggers, notably FWD have done a bang-up job already.)

My point is that Glee will now be on at the same time as LOST. Now. There may not be much overlap between the two shows' fanbases, since on the surface they appear to appeal to completely different audiences, but I have my suspicions that I am not the only person in the world who is going to be crying inside tonight as she watches LOST on ABC instead of Glee on FOX at 9pm Eastern time.

Yep, I made my choice. It's LOST. The show's been on longer, has more hanging on every episode as we near the end, and has more attractive male characters than Glee. Also, I am a big fan of Bittorrent, and Glee is the easiest show to torrent in the history of torrenting. Seriously, I nabbed the first thirteen episodes in about five minutes.

And yet...as I watch Desmond do cartwheels with Sayid, or Charlie miraculously reappear and make out with Shannon, or the Man in Black fight aliens with a pug-dog (at this point, anything is possible), part of me will be yearning for histrionic Jewish girls, dopey football players, mohawks, Cheerio uniforms. I will bolt from my friend Vince's couch the minute the trailer for next week's LOST is over, skip watching my favorite sci-fi show to make fun of (V, obviously), and gallop home to steal the delectable first episode of Glee.

And this will be my life until May 23rd. So it goes. AND ALL BECAUSE OF FOX. I knew FOX was a monster--they canceled Dark Angel to make way for Firefly, then gave that awesome show the chop. They canceled Sarah Connor Chronicles to give Dollhouse a chance, then canceled Dollhouse just as the show was getting to be Fucking Amazing. Their scheduling of Glee in the same timeslot as LOST just proves what we have always known: FOX is the devil.

In which pants are soiled

So, I just got home from seeing Clash of the Titans, which was fun (and a good antidote to the stress of the past few weeks), but isn't why my undies are in a bunch. No no; Sam Worthington is cute in a stolid way, and Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes gnawing scenery is delectable, but in all honesty the best part of the viewing experience was the trailers.

FOR LO, CHILDREN--THIS SUMMER WILL BE THE SUMMER OF THE NERD BLOCKBUSTER. The nerdbuster, if you will.

BEHOLD. (Not all of these were in front of Titans, but they're what I and the rest of geekdom are excited about).

+Iron Man 2, obviously. 'Nuff said.

+The Expendables. My only concern regarding this film is that viewing it may actually turn me into a man. Also I'm a bit sad that Jean Claude Van Damme and Jeff Speakman are not part of the man-u (that's man-menu, hello!) of deliciousness here, but the more times I watch the trailer, the less I care.

+Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I admit it, I fucking love Michael Cera. And him in various death matches against vindictive ex-boyfriends sounds pretty funny.

+The Losers. Zoe Saldana doing what she does best. For those who don't know, that's kicking ass and being sexy. Also, she speaks three dialects of Romulan, so get out of her fucking chair and let her do her fucking job. Whoops, wrong movie.

+The A-Team. Mostly I just want to see Patrick Wilson try to be badass. Jessica Biel will also eventually get naked or mostly, which is a plus.

+Kick-Ass. I am setting aside my loathing for Nicolas Cage to see this movie. He should be damn flattered.


What upcoming movies have YOU wetting/creaming yourself?