Spellbound

As you may know, I was born and raised in Florida, and lived there until almost a year ago; now I'm in Ohio, where there are Seasons...like autumn. Real actual autumn. I have slowly been going insane with the weather since September: looking up scarf-tying tutorials, mulling mead, baking tiny pumpkin-shaped pies, standing under trees and photographing their leaves, etc. 

And as the days have edged up closer to Halloween, I have been wanting to dress up like a witch, all the time. Witch-chic or bust. However, in lieu of spending my paychecks on velvet skirts and pointy ankle boots, I mostly just make Polyvore sets. 

curse the night 

the power of Manon 

everyday witchcraft 

Echo Bazaar

Are any of you as addicted to autumn and/or Polyvore as I am?

These are a few of my favorite (holiday) things

Despite being a horrible Baby-Jesus-hating atheist pagan feminazi, I kind of love the winter holiday season. These are some of the reasons why.

The Snowman: a lovely little movie made from the book by Raymond Briggs, The Snowman is hands-down my favorite Christmas movie. Find the version with David Bowie's introduction if you can!

Thumbprint cookies: Definitely my favorite Christmas cookie.

A Midwinter Night's Dream: Loreena McKennitt's first holiday album. This CD features both original songs and beautiful renditions of carols and hymns; her version of "The Holly and the Ivy" is my favorite of any.

Christmas trees made out of books: Like so.

The opportunity to buy my youngest cousin books: She reads like it's going out of style, which I suppose it is. This year she's getting two excellent tomes from two excellent authors, Karen Healey and Bryan Q. Miller (Rachel, you better not be reading this)!

Seriously?

This is deeply un-funny to me. Here are three reasons why.

1. It mocks a real, important campaign. This one, to be exact. USAmericans have a real problem with creating offensive Halloween costumes. Hello? Blackface is not ok. Sticking a feather in your hair, dashing on some red paint, and saying you're an "Indian princess" or, for fuck's sake, a "Poca-hottie" is NOT OK. People of color are PEOPLE, not costumes.

2. It fat-shames. Stereotypes abound regarding nerds as fat, pasty basement-dwellers completely sans social skills. This, like any stereotype about a group, is often inaccurate, and is yet another arm of our society's obsession with policing others' bodies. Think body shame doesn't touch nerd-dom? We're not immune.

3. The Doctor would never do this. On a totally petty, fannish, basic level--THE DOCTOR WOULD NOT DO THIS. This is not the MO of a thousands-year-old being who's literally seen everything. He's never met an unimportant person. He's a dick in many ways, but this ain't his brand.

Call me a humorless feminist, I do not care. There are millions of Halloween costumes in the world without needing to dip into abuse of cultures that have already been destroyed, ignored, bastardized, and stolen from. It's so easy to not be an racist asshole. All it takes is the tiniest bit of thought and absolutely no effort.

Body Appreciation Sunday: Imagination

"I don't know...I can imagine quite a bit!"

Thus spake one of the great men of our times, Han Solo. This line is somewhat of an adage for me; imagination is one of my favorite things about being human. It allows me to create visions in my mind, whether as mundane as what my manfriend is doing at the moment (carefully making green tea, wearing his superhero pajama pants and a Buzzo's t-shirt, and queuing up a DuckTales episode) or as magical as some of the characters in the current story I'm writing. Imagination is what gets me through the dreariest, quietest Friday night at work or a dentist appointment or renewing my driver's license. It is what creates dreams, daydreams, flights of fancy, nightmares, and woolgathering.

Halloween is a celebration which encourages the imagination and stimulates the subconscious. It is one of my best-beloved holidays: I love dressing up, candy, black cats, pumpkin beer, and scary stories and movies. Halloween means that, for a day or a night, you can be whatever you can imagine. Would that we could carry that particular spirit of Halloween with us always.

Basically, fuck Columbus Day

So, here in the US, it's Columbus Day. Not an observance I have much use for. Instead of whacking on about the history of the nation, I thought I would provide a few links for my dear readers' perusal.

The Native American Heritage Association, a non-profit charity for reservations in South Dakota.

I Am Not A Mascot, a fantastic blog written by an Oglala Lakota Sioux journalist.

Native American Heritage Month is next month!

My culture is not a trend, a Tumblr account chronicling instances of micro and macroaggression against and appropriation of native cultures.

The American Indian College Fund, which provides scholarships, fellowships, grants, and other education opportunities for native students.

Hearts and flowers, blasters and pompoms

It's that day, dear readers! National day of hawking all things red, pink, glittery, and sugary, and entrenched as I am in the splendors of young love, I am positively starry-eyed to bring to you some of my Favorite Fictional Couples. Ten of them, to be exact, though not really in any particular order...

10. Brittany/Santana: a newish entry into the pantheon of cute and smoochy, Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez of Glee are definitely my favorite couple on that show. Who can resist their pinky-holding, their matching Cheerio uniforms (SPOILERS ne'er to be seen again?), their scissoring? Brittana forever, friends. Awkward Ship Name: actually, "Brittana" is obvious and easy to say.

9. Willow/Oz: spreading hope to nerds everywhere, Willow Rosenberg and Daniel "Oz" Osborne were, in the heyday of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, about as cute as it gets. Red-haired and diminutive, geeky and smart, one a witch and the other a werewolf, Willow/Oz made panicking downright sexy. Awkward Ship Name: Willoz? Ozlow? Yeah, I don't know.

8. Han/Leia: the original ship! Honestly, who comes out of STAR WARS thinking, You know, I think Leia should get with Lando? She's a sharp-shooting princess with a sharper tongue, he's a rogue--what more is there? Awkward Ship Name: Solgana, perhaps, though that sounds like a grain crop.

7. Dick/Babs: ohhhhh the Batfamily spawns some fancy pairings indeed. I was considering Bat/Cat (ok, and Dick/Jason. SHUT UP), but Nightwing/Oracle (or if you prefer tweenage cuteness, Robin/Batgirl) won out. They have brains, they have muscles in strange places, they have adorable, they have my heart. Awkward Ship Name: Gordonson? Nah...Woracle? I am bad at this.

6. Zoe/Wash: the cutest of the cute who ever pirated the sky! Zoe Washburne and Hoban "Wash" Washburne are so cute it's almost gross. She's tall and badass and wants something with a little slink in it, he's short and plays with dinosaurs and wants to buy her that something with a little slink in it. Awkward Ship Name: Zwash. Doesn't get much awkwarder than that. Although if you're into apes, "Washoe" is fun.

5. Willow/Tara: now, don't look at me like that; Willow and Tara deserve their spot just as much as Willow and Oz do. Some of mainstream TV's most famous lesbians, Willow and Tara are just nice. And cute. And tragic, oh, so tragic. Awkward Ship Name: MacRosenberg. Rosenclay?

4. O'Neill/Carter: Stargate SG1's forbidden couple, Sam and Jack go together like something really smart and something really grumpy. Why couldn't you have thrown us that, ahem, bone, SG1? Awkward Ship Name: O'Carter, I suppose.

3. The Doctor/Rose: keep in mind, the Doctor lives forever...so when he falls for a mortal, you know it's got to be something special. Oh Rose! I'll never be over you. Awkward Ship Name: good lord. I have no idea. Doctrose? Sounds like a sugar.

2. Veronica/Logan: let it be known that I literally ship Veronica Mars with EVERYONE (including myself). HOWEVER, the end goal is always Logan of the white-bread cute, Logan of the screwed up family, and Logan of the inimitable snark. Awkward Ship Name: Marcholls.

1. Rocky/Adrian: ok, so, I am a fan of boy movies and I have a soft spot for red coats. Adrian and Rocky are so cute, don't deny it! She works in a pet store and has huge glasses, he tells her she looks "very great" and eventually names a restaurant for her, and they manage to spawn Milo Ventimiglia. There is no bad. Awkward Ship Name: Balpennino? Radrian?

Ok, you can all go puke now. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

Another year

There's this superstition that, on New Year's Day, you should do all the things that you want to keep doing or be able to do in the upcoming year. The day is supposed to set the tone for the year. I like this superstition, almost as much as I like my mom's superstition of buying new shoes on New Year's Day to "get off on the right foot" (though thus far in 2011, I have failed to find new shoes), and looking back over today, I am pleased with the things that I did, both in their basic things-I-did-today state and their more meta this-is-what-I-will-do-this-year state.

It seems to be a nicer way of creating resolutions, without having to actually say the word "resolution" or make a list or whatnot. Your actions create the resolutions themselves. More fulfilling, infinitely simpler, less guilt. So here is what I did today:

+Cleaned: bad juju and dustballs, away! Cleaning is a New Year's trend that pretty much everyone I know engages in. I vaccuumed, cleaned the kitchen counters and sink, the bathroom mirror, sink, and toilet, and put away holiday ornamentations. Laundry of various kinds was also done. For the year: it's good to keep a clean living space; it shows respect to the house and its inhabitants, and is healthy.

+Shopped: ok, I like shopping generally, but errands needed to be done! A shopping bag full of paper towels, cotton balls, thank-you cards, and an iPod case later, we are set for a while. For the year: having the money to buy necessary AND unnecessary items is a privilege and a blessing. Let's hope my cash flow remains reasonably steady.

+Cooked: Boyfriend and I made and ate dinner together. This does not happen nearly as often as I would like, mainly because I often work nights, but I do like to cook--it's fun, usually, and cheaper and healthier than eating at a restaurant. For the year: I hope that more time can be spent cooking and eating with my beloved, and that this will help us to become closer AND healthier!

+Watched movies: this could be extrapolated to going out to movies, watching TV, and playing games, again with my dearest. We like movies and we like watching them together. Relaxation, entertainment, and togetherness in one simple, cheap package. For the year: here's to hoping for plenty of time spent with my boyfriend in the pursuit of fun.

+Wrote thank-you cards: cards were written out to the people who were so generous to me this holiday. Practicing being grateful is definitely something to be worked on every day, and I have so much to be grateful for. For the year: be thankful! Appreciative! Look around and be aware of everything that you have!

+Interviewed: my boyfriend, that is! I asked him some interview questions which might come up when he goes off to visit medical schools this month. For the year: helping and supporting my partner when I can is incredibly important, as is the furthering of both of our educations and careers.

+Flossed my teeth: hee. I am pretty bad at flossing my teeth, but I did just now and it is, as Martha would say, a good thing. I honor my body by taking care of it. For the year: as with cooking food at home, flossing and going to the gym and etc. are ways to be healthier and appreciate and honor my able body.

+Got jiggy: not that you really want to hear this, but yes, pants did come off and so forth. Sex is important for people in a romantic relationship, it's fun and good for your health (if you're doing it right)--it is great overall. For the year: undiplomatically put, spend as much time as possible horizontal.

And that was my first day of 2011. Here's to an excellent year, dear readers! Did anyone do anything wild and crazy last night? We got scolded by an apartment complex rent-a-cop for shooting off fireworks and learned to Dougie. Ah, friends.

And A Very Amiable Festivus To You

Normally I am all for the Airing of Grievances, but this week I am feeling right jolly and rather serene. So I will leave you, dear readers, for the holidays and wish you all well, and return next week five pounds heavier and a few giftcards richer.

Peace and blessings.

So help me God, yellow eyes!

There are many wonderful things about this time of year, some of which I enumerated in a previous post. However, I have not yet elaborated upon a very specific tradition of the women in my family: watching A Christmas Story as many times as possible between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

My boyfriend, poor soul, freely admits that he does not understand this at all. He is not really a big fan of the movie, having been exposed to it rather late in life (read: he hadn't seen it until he met me). But my sister, mother, and I--oh, we can't get enough of it. I HAVE been known to watch this extremely seasonal movie out of season (DR SHE BLOGGO's May birthday party, I am looking at you), but I do prefer to view it in its proper wintry season, in the following manner:

1. Get home on Christmas Eve in time for my aunt's dessert party. After stuffing my face with enough pastries to give all of Florida diabetes, retire to my grandmother's couch to catch the first viewing as TBS begins to air its "24 Hours of A Christmas Story".

2. Wake up on Christmas Day and have breakfast. Post-eating frenzy, flip on TBS and resume viewing in whatever point of the story is on the screen. Perhaps I have dropped in on the Chinese restaurant goose; perhaps Ralphie has just broken his glasses or said his first curse word; perhaps it's time to show Mommy how the little piggies eat. Wherever the movie is, I watch. And laugh like the ape that I am. I know the damn movie by heart--it doesn't matter if it's an hour in, I'll pick up the storyline and go from there.

3. Sometime Christmas afternoon, migrate to my best friend's house. And, after visiting with her parents and sister, plop to the living room floor, flip on TBS, and do it all again.

It just does not get old, folks. It is the movie I will never be sick of. I've probably seen it more times than I've seen STAR WARS or 10 Things I Hate About You. It is just, as Ferris Bueller would say, so choice. I didn't live through the Fifties (thank all the gods), so this is what that era looks like to me: hideous fashion, weird toys, heavily buttered food, oblivious husbands whose wives laugh at them obliquely. 95% of the film's lines have made it into popular parlance. My sister and I used to have a string of mini leg lights that we decorated with this time of year; hardly a substitute for a real leg lamp, but we make do. The first time we showed the movie to our mother--in a Williamsburg inn when I was about 12--she laughed through THE ENTIRE THING. Tears streaming, sides clutched.

So there you have it: Diana's most cherished holiday tradition. Classy people have churches and Masses and candle-lighting and special foods or drinks they make each year...I have Ralphie and Randy and Scut Farkus. Speaking of which, apologies to Zack Ward, who actually grew up to be extremely handsome. Peter Billingsley also did well; he was in an after-school special about steroids which my classmates and I watched with horror in high school health, and now he produces movies like Iron Man.

The wish list

In my attempts to keep my snot-ridden, coughing ass awake at work (previous attempts today include not-at-all-clandestine Echo Bazaar-ing, doing every crossword puzzle in the building, and eating an entire bag of iced gingerbread cookies), I give you the Completely Unreasonable Holiday Wish List, 2010 Edition, in no particular order. NOTE: until Blogger makes it EASY to post pictures again, images will be restricted to my film posts. Seriously, WTF Blogger? Way to "fix" something that wasn't broke.

10. The Sater sofa: from IKEA, of course, this sofa is gorgeous and Jeremy and I fell in love with it the first time we went to IKEA together. In our joint-brain it occupies our Future!Home in Canada. IKEA's product picture looks black, but really it is a glorious dark brown.

9. "Lilith" pendant: from Etsy seller santiamnaturals. Beautiful pendant necklace, in gold and blue.

8. "Padme Nouveau": from Her Universe, an awesome online shop created for us girl Star Wars fans. The Padme t-shirt is just one of their wondrous offerings.

7. TARDIS cookie jar: along similarly nerdy lines, the TARDIS cookie jar from ThinkGeek is just calling out to have its very own spot on my kitchen counter.

6. The Historical Thesaurus to the Oxford English Dictionary: oh yeah, I would sacrifice babies to have a copy of this.

5. The "Graphite Drawing" dress: from ModCloth, of course. I love the hourglass shape and mod details.

4. "Queen Bennet" bedframe: from Jordan's. I LOVE metal bedframes, probably a consequence of reading too much fantasy in my formative years. This one is perfect.

3. "Julia" Frye boots: the perfect "if Anne Shirley were a hooker" boots, amirite? From Frye by way of Zappos.

2. The entire set of Animorphs: including the Alternamorphs, Megamorphs, and Chronicles books. SOMEDAY, PEOPLE.

1. Yoga retreat at Salt Spring Island, BC: Two words: oh yeah.

That winter holiday

Full disclosure: I LOVE CHRISTMAS. That is, I love the winter holiday season--I don't love the goddamn motherfucking assclownery that is the shit-for-brains "culture warriors" ruining things for everyone else.

But I don't want to talk about them. I want to talk about things I love about the month of December, because lo, they are legion.

1. Music: I really, really like Christmas carols, despite me not being even a little Christian anymore. I particularly like just simple instrumental versions of carols, particularly in public places while I am shopping. Much more calming and lovely than Jessica Simpson's Mariah Carey rip-off. Some of my favorites include: "Good King Wenceslas" (the loooooong version), "Far Far Away on Judea's Plain" (which I used to make my Young Women's girls sing when I was the Laurel class president, and no one ever knew the words except me), "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day", "The Holly and the Ivy", "Corpus Christi Carol", and "O Holy Night". I love Loreena McKennitt's two holiday albums, To Drive the Cold Winter Away and A Midwinter Night's Dream and heartily recommend them.

2. Food: As we all know, I love to eat. I also like baking and cooking, so the winter season is a great time of year for me and peeps like me. My favorite cookies to bake in the winter time are fudgy bonbons (which are a chocolate dough wrapped around a kiss, then drizzled with glaze after baking) and pecan kisses (pecans dipped in meringue and baked). I also love making mulled cider and wine, and I have an awesomely easy and tasty recipe for fudge--basically, melt together baking chocolate, sweetened condensed milk, butter, and your flavor of choice--peppermint and orange essence are great, as is mixing in peanut butter chips or marshmallow fluff. Christmas with my mother's family at home is great because we normally do a "non-traditional" dinner; no goose, ham, or turkey. Last year we had a fab gumbo, and this year we will likely do some kind of fish. One of my aunts always hosts a dessert party at her house Christmas Eve...yeah, she's one of my favorite family members.

3. Traditions: tradition! Ok, Fiddler on the Roof digression over. My family doesn't really have too many traditions--my mom buys me and my sister a Hallmark collectible ornament each year and we generally try to watch A Christmas Story as many times as possible on Christmas Day. Personally I like to watch the gorgeous, emotionally crippling film The Snowman every year too. This year was really the first year that I got to decorate my apartment exactly how I wanted, and I was sort of surprised at how much I DID want to. I like greenery and lights for the winter season, and that's about it, so now we have some mistletoe in our kitchen doorway, a wreath and some small sprigs (fake pine, of course :/), and white bistro lights strung up over our sliding glass door. Our bedroom has a teeny tree decorated with my assortment of Hallmark ornaments, goddess figurines, and stars, and surrounded by gifts. And candles--candles everywhere. I love candles at most times, but especially during the winter holidays, so many of which revolve around light.

4. Gifts: I love, love holiday shopping. You may commence thinking I am a bizarro now, but it's one of my favorite things to do. I like finding gifts that my loved ones will enjoy and I think I'm pretty good at it. I love wrapping gifts, although I am TERRIBLE at it (back me up here, DR SHE BLOGGO). I love the look of a tree with many gifts under it, waiting to be given away and torn into and loved. I love getting things in the mail that are pretty and funny and functional, not just bills and spam. And yes, of course, I love opening my own gifts. Especially if they are books.

5. Learning: every year around this time I like to bust out my old favorite winter holiday books (Little House in the Big Woods, The Dark Is Rising, etc.) and read new items, online and in bound books, about this time of year. There really is an astounding number of winter festivals around the world. Personally, I don't celebrate a holiday around this time in a religious sense--mostly I use the season to celebrate my loves and friendships and all the good things Lady Fortune has bestowed on me. I do like some of the exterior decorations and symbolism found in winter traditional holidays, specifically Yule or Christmas trees, candles and other lights (which are found in a variety of traditions, from Christmas to Yule to Solstice to Diwali to Alban Arthan to St. Lucy's Day to Saturnalia and Sol Invictus celebrations), and the red/green/white color theme, the origin of which is attributed to many cultures and celebrations.

Do you enjoy this time of year? What do you love or not-love about it? Do you have any particular traditions or celebrations?

Nerdsgiving

It may come as a complete lack of surprise to you, dear readers, that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love to eat and I really love to eat potatoes, so yes--the foodiest of all American holidays is my numero uno.

I also enjoy thinking about things that I love and people that I adore. If I may wax Mormon for a moment, it is good to count your blessings. In a general life sense, I am most grateful for my friends--my beloved, my best friend, my family. I am grateful for my job and my career, my education, my ever-growing stock of books, my access to food and clean water, my privileges.

But this is a nerd blog. And nerds have a lot to be thankful for. My Nerdsgiving list includes the following.

1. Dr Who: my personal favorite incarnation as yet is pictured here. What a delectable show. Almost as yummy as mashed potatoes.




2. The Potterverse: awesome books, awesome movies, awesomely cute cast which gives me warm fuzzies, similar to the feeling of mashed potatoes in one's belly.

3. Gail Simone: lady comic book writer par excellence. Her Birds of Prey kicks so much ass, kind of like when you leave little lumps here and there in the mashed potatoes.

4. Obessive message boards: The Internet is a wonderful place for nerds, because places like Snarkfest and Fief Goldenlake exist. These are my two current favorite nerd-friendly message boards, though I used to frequent the starwars.com forums as well, where I would trade mashed potato recipes with screennames like Gothmog and Kaelis Tuar.

5. Nathan Fillion: need more be said? Warning: watching Nathan Fillion do anything for too long may induce a state of happy comatosity, similar to the effects of passing out face-down in a plate of mashed potatoes.

6. Geeky tumblrs: remember how the Internet is an awesome place for nerds? Tumblr is really helping us immerse ourselves in plates of mashed potatoes, with users like FuckYeahDickGrayson, FuckYeahMarvel, FuckYeahComicRelationships, FuckYeahInception, FuckYeahBuffy, and FuckYeahStarWars.

7. Bruce Timm cartoons: I love Bruce Timm. I have a fantasy that involves Bruce Timm, a marathon of Batman Beyond, and a kiddy pool of mashed potatoes.

8. British comedy shows: things like Peep Show, Spaced, and Top Gear (yes, I realize the last is not strictly a sitcom) hit my giggle nerve like no other, not even mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes are no laughing matter.

9. Kick-ass comic book ladies: I love comics almost as much as mashed potatoes, and I really love reading about women in comics. DC has a couple of good runs going currently, including the new Birds of Prey and Gotham City Sirens, which features some of my favorite villainesses: Harley Quinn, Catwoman, and Poison Ivy. Marvel is doing Heralds, starring Emma Frost, Agent Abigail Brand (my current Marvel girl-crush), Hellcat, Monica Rambeau, She-Hulk, Valkyrie, and a few others.

10. Cowboys and Aliens: Daniel Craig, Olivia Wilde, and Harrison Ford...and aliens. My only question is, Will there be mashed potato fighting as well?

Candy crash

Dear readers, I hope you all had a marvelous Halloween weekend. When I rule the world, I will decree that when Halloween falls on a weekend day, all three weekend evenings will be open for trick-or-treating. This "ZOMG Halloween is on Sunday, what do we DO??!" business was just silly. However, it did allow me to here a totally new totally crazy anti-Halloween comment: "I don't celebrate Halloween because it's Satan's birthday and neither should you!"

...Satan's birthday? I wasn't aware that birthdays were ascribed to either the Christian god OR his main squeeze nemesis. Go figure.

At any rate, I STILL HAVEN'T HAD ANY CANDY CORN. Jeebus H. Cristobal, how did that happen? I love candy corn. Last night I got a call from my boyfriend and he said, Diana, I love you, but there is no more candy corn left in the state of Florida. So we made turtle brownies instead. Then we celebrated Satan's birthday by first, seeking advice from my Ouija board and learning that we will move to Canada in 3.5-4 years, second, predicting that our friend Tony will eventually pro wrestle for the WWE through a glass pendulum on a string, and third, finding out that cats will eventually rule the world via my awesome Llewellyn Tarot deck. Beetlejuice was also viewed, Dr Who and Rose costumes were worn, and a fine time was had by all. We had zero trick-or-treaters, but someone does seem to have stolen one of our pumpkins from our front stoop. ALAS.

And no, it is not even a little bit cold here yet.