Flip Through

Sunday, August 06, 2006

All-inclusive ridiculous simplifications

Reading High Fidelity two or three times this summer made me realize that there really is a Top Five list for every occasion. Even if this realization defeats the entire purpose of the book. So, to start us off, we have the all-important...

TOP FIVE SIDE ONE, TRACK ONE SONGS:
1. "Back In the USSR" by The Beatles (The White Album)
2. "I Will Dare" by The Replacements (Let It Be)
3. "Bob Dylan Wrote Propaganda Songs" by The Minutemen (What Makes A Man Start Fires?)
4. "American Gothic" by David Ackles (American Gothic)
5. "Teen Age Riot" by Sonic Youth (Daydream Nation)

And then how about...

TOP FIVE MAFIA FILMS:
1. The Godfather (duh)
2. Donnie Brasco
3. Goodfellas
4. The Godfather, Part II
5. The Hebrew Hammer (what, it counts) tied with Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels

Or we could do...

TOP FIVE SONGS COVERED BY ARTISTS ONE WOULDN'T EXPECT:
1. "Superstar" original by The Carpenters; cover by Sonic Youth
2. "Breaking Us In Two" original by Joe Jackson; cover by Mandy Moore (hehehe)
3. "I Wanna Be Sedated" original by The Ramones; cover by Shonen Knife
4. "Master of Puppets" original by Metallica; cover by Dream Theater
5. "Cat Scratch Fever" original by Ted Nugent; cover by Moog Cookbook
Honorable Mention #6: "Guilty of Being White" original by Minor Threat; cover by Slayer (it'd be higher, but it's not unexpected that Slayer would want to sing about being white)

Mmm, this is fun. Let's do...

TOP FIVE MEN UNCULTURED PEOPLE THINK ARE WOMEN:
1. Joan Miro (Spanish Surrealist artist)
2. Evelyn Waugh (English satirical author)
3. Lillian Berlin (singer/guitarist, The Living Things)
4. Geddy Lee (singer/bassist/keyboardist, Rush) (good one, Cara! Except I still think he actually IS female)
5. Sue (eponymous antihero of a Cash song) (kidding...mostly)

Okay. I'll stop. For now.

All in all, Barry would probably say, Oh, that's not obvious, Diana. How about fucking Beethoven? Side One, Track One of the Fifth Symphony... but tough toenails. I like what I like.
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