Things I said while watching A Christmas Story (2011 edition)

• I wonder if Peter Billingsley knows he's going to grow up and produce Jon Favreau movies.
• Hmm, Ralphie is a terrible friend.
• I wonder if Randy knows he's going to grow up to be a stoner.
• I wonder if Zack Ward knows he's going to grow up to be rather handsome, and if that makes up for having successfully answered a casting call for "Ugly child, aged 11-13. Terrible teeth. Preferably ginger."
• HOW DO PEOPLE NOT LOVE THIS FILM OMG SOAP POISONING
• Except for the parts where the only black people are villains and the Chinese people are racist stereotypes. How come one Chinese man can pronounce 'R' and the others can't?
• I wonder if the aviator goggles kid who likes The Wizard of Oz knows he's going to grow up to be a child molester.
• BLUE BALLS HAHAHAHAHA HOW DID I MISS THAT AS A KID