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Monday, May 07, 2012


My hometown library system is in the news, and not for a good reason. Hell, is any Florida news ever good? Such an embarrassing state I hail from. Anyway, in the interest of helping the dear folks out back home, I present a partial list of Literature Easily Accessible at the Brevard County Public Library That Will Scar Children for Life and Cause Adults to Abandon All Morality (AKA Some Things I Read Age 13-17 That Taught Me More About Sex Than the Brevard County School System):

The novelization of The Wicker Man
Anne Rice as Anne Roquelaure's Sleeping Beauty trilogy
Incarnations of Immortality and every other fantasy series Piers Anthony has ever written
obvious shit like A Spy In the House of Love and Tropic of Cancer
River God
any number of Zane novels
part of Sin City
Trainspotting (the novel and the film)
hoary classics such as Lady Chatterley's Lover (hey, it was naughty when I was fifteen)
Rubyfruit Jungle 

These are all going to be removed, right? Right? For the betterment of humanity? Right?! 

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