Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
(Which, by the way, is just ONE of the reasons I detest that movie.)
Let me take a metaphorical cam pic for you: here I am, sitting on my couch in DC superhero sweatpants and a "Club sandwiches not seals" shirt at 8PM with two cats and a box of those delectable Belgian chocolate seashells, indulging my lady-boner for Roy Khan.*
(Kamelot really needs to release a new live DVD. Or TOUR HERE PLEASE. Either one will do. I need me some bombastic power metal in the flesh on at least a yearly basis. Please get better, Khan!)
*In fact, this scenario is mostly why my boyfriend likes me. I have the feeling that if I ever got the chance to get nekkid with Mr. Khan, Boyfriend would high-five me.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
7. TARDIS cookie jar: along similarly nerdy lines, the TARDIS cookie jar from ThinkGeek is just calling out to have its very own spot on my kitchen counter.
6. The Historical Thesaurus to the Oxford English Dictionary: oh yeah, I would sacrifice babies to have a copy of this.
5. The "Graphite Drawing" dress: from ModCloth, of course. I love the hourglass shape and mod details.
4. "Queen Bennet" bedframe: from Jordan's. I LOVE metal bedframes, probably a consequence of reading too much fantasy in my formative years. This one is perfect.
3. "Julia" Frye boots: the perfect "if Anne Shirley were a hooker" boots, amirite? From Frye by way of Zappos.
2. The entire set of Animorphs: including the Alternamorphs, Megamorphs, and Chronicles books. SOMEDAY, PEOPLE.
1. Yoga retreat at Salt Spring Island, BC: Two words: oh yeah.
Monday, December 13, 2010
In happier news, I have just learned that I've won a signed copy of Queen of Shadows! Suddenly my day is much brighter. Awesome and sauce.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
Monday, December 06, 2010
- thillin: v. when one is both thinking and chilling at the same time. This is a common state for villains; note: similar to "highfalutin", there is no ultimate apostrophe. Example: "I was thillin the other day and came up with a sinister plan for world domination via RPGs."
- bilene: n. like baleen, but for cetaceans who go flirt with everyone. Example: "I met a whale shark last night with a gorgeous set of bilene."
- uratess: n. a noxious effluvium generally found to issue from the anal appanage of nervous Labrador retrievers. Example: "We'll need to shut Marley up in her cage when Grandma comes over; we don't want her producing that awful uratess in her excited state."
- bugan: v. humans who subsist entirely upon insects, arachnids, and arthropods. Example: "Oh my god, I am totally bugan. Have you tried the roasted water beetles down at the Exo Cafe? So nommy."
- ungst: n. a specific type of angst which incites in the bearer the urge to clean all the things. Derived from Felix Unger. Example: "I had a bad case of ungst this morning and now the toaster oven is spotless."
- nutwons: adj. to be completely nuts over people named Antwon. Example: "My sister's lab partner came over last night to work on a project and now I am completely nutwons for him. He prefers to be called Anthony...I just don't get that."
- fructi: n. the Finnish word for smoothies. Example: "Erik brought me an awesome fructi while we were camping in the wilds of Nuorgam. I have no idea where he found a cafe!"
- psescor: n. where phased-out brand name drugs go to die. Example: "Oh, I work for a pharmaceutical company. My job is to toss all the old versions of boner pills into the psescor."
- ramiting: n. very rare medical condition wherein the sufferer vomits up male sheep. Example: "Lester had a screaming bout of ramiting last night, so we decided to have mutton this year for Christmas dinner."
Ok. Now that I've exposed my extreme dorkdom yet again, I think I'll go process some books. Happy Monday, dear readers.
Thursday, December 02, 2010
old places and brutal ways of
women who keep their mouths shut.
My mother, long-suffering, developed a
in the withering damp heat of August 1987,
and I sprang fully-formed
from the intricacies of her mind.
There was blood,
and my mother opened her mouth and
the inverse of the shriek of the banshee
which my mother's mother's mother's mothers
brought to this country from Ireland,
the birth-howl which heralds life
in the flush and blood and terror of their new present,
long for death.