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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The cradle of life is Africa

So there's this. This too.

It's pretty easy to understand why anyone with a brain is het up about these idiotic new advertisements from Summer's Eve, those purveyors of lavender-scented cooters. There are a lot of reasons to be pissed--the use of dude actors with phallic objects, you know, doing stuff while the women stand around waiting to see who they get to have sex with; equating "woman" with "vagina" and boiling down a complex group of people to their genitals (and ignoring the fact that not all women have vaginas); the not-so-subtle undertones of conquest and rape; the downright racist ads aimed at Latinas and black women; every space on the bigot bingo card is there! Because I'm stupid and naive, I'd thought that this sort of thing was going the way of the dodo; apparently not. Advertisers still want you to think that your genitals are nasty and smelly and need to be pressure-washed before the dudes will go near them. My major beef with these ads is just that: the misconceptions surrounding female genitalia and what they're "supposed" to look/smell/act like.

Let's get something clear. The vagina is a self-cleaning oven. Its internal flora are supposed to be there. Your cervix is supposed to produce fluid of varying consistency and scent throughout the month. Your labia can be washed with mild, unscented soap or even just water, unless there's some sort of infection going on, in which case you might need medication, and GUESS WHAT? Such infections often get going by something getting into your junk that shouldn't be there. Something that contains Red Dye No. 3 or ammonium lauryl sulfate or artificial scents or sugars.

This stuff, of course, is what douches and "cleansing washes" are made out of.

There's a reason I deeply enjoy "douchebag" as an insult, and that's because I know that douching is bad for you. You should not let a douche anywhere near your business. Good rule for life!

*And guess what? NOT A VAGINA. "Vagina" has become a catch-all term for everything south of a woman's belt, something which advertisers like Summer's Eve continue to use to their advantage (teehee, we said "vajayjay"! Look, we're serious and using a proper medical term instead of something cutesy like vajayjay. Etc). The cradle of life, in female biology terms, is the uterus.

1 comment:

the_bardologist said...

The stupidity of the whole frakking thing is mind blowing and the ethnic stereotyping as well which is a lovely touch. I think they definitely want to make seem like that is the best thing you can do for your vagina etc. That you need to use a cloth that might cause the very irritation that is supposed to prevent. This is just ridiculous and seems like it is created by a bunch of cluess dudes.

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